Self-care is all the things we do to provide ourselves with physical, emotional and mental wellness and stability. In recent years, especially after the beginning of the pandemic, there has been a sudden surge of interest in all things related to self-care. Absolutely normal and expected, since we came to realize how important emotional, mental, and physical wellness is. But as a concept, self-care can be differently interpreted in people’s minds, depending on the current state and needs of each person. And, unfortunately, these interpretations are often things that self-care definitely isn’t.
Self-care is not:
- Indulging and spoiling yourself.
For example, spending an extreme amount of money on things you want to have – like clothes – and end up not having enough money for necessities like your rent. At some point, we all need to go a bit extra on covering our needs and if that is going to make us feel better, we should. But always in a responsible manner. Self-care is not giving into urges for momentary pleasure that will only land us into trouble later.
- Self-centeredness
There is self-care and self-love and then there is selfishness and self-absorption. Loving and caring for yourself is the foundation of a healthy lifestyle that will allow human relationships to flourish. Caring only about your needs and feelings, and ignoring the needs and feelings of other persons, only leads to social oblivion and undermines any relationship. Loving and caring for yourself is what we aim for. Loving and caring ONLY for yourself is, simply put, unacceptable.
- Staying in your comfort zone.
Comfort is one of those feelings that we crave for in every aspect of our lives. Our relationships, our work environment, our family vibes, they all feel better when they are comfortable. But sometimes “comfortable” becomes the synonym of “known” and “accustomed to”. We stay into situations that harm us or do not let us grow just because we are used to them, and we do not want to get uncomfortable. And we call that self-care when it’s actually the exact opposite. A toxic work environment that we keep on enduring is an example of such situations.
- Mimicking other people’s self-care ways.
Self-care has about 8 billion different meanings, as many as the unique human beings on this earth. Each one of us has different needs and different ways to care for them. A quick image research for self-care brings on pictures of spa treatments, pedicures and face masks. Not everyone feels better with such kind of care. Find your own meaning for self-care and your own practices.
- Following society’s self-care standards
Think about diet culture. For years, we have been preached that losing weight is actually a form of self-care. Think about the pandemic and the long months of quarantines. There was this notion going around social media that using this time to get better, to grow, to get fit, to finish a couple of courses was actually a form of self-care. When people were simply trying to stay alive and sane. Self-care needs to be defined at a personal level with no influences from trends. It is YOU that will reach out to yourself and find out what you really need.
So, where do you start? You want to start taking care of yourself but you have no idea what you have to do. It’s simple actually. Just care for yourself the way you would care for the person you love more on this earth. There are ways that are vital and other ones that require self-reflection in order to be personalized. Browse through the list below, give it some thought and slowly start actually taking care of the person you are sure to spend your whole life with.
The principles of self-care
- Listen to your body’s and mind’s real needs. Nourish your body with food that you like and is good for you, get quality sleep, exercise the way you need and enjoy, find hobbies, rest, relax.
- Take care of your health. Don’t forget your personal hygiene, your health self-monitoring and your check-ups.
- Spend quality time with the people you love. Nurture your important relationships.
- Take care of your spiritual needs even if you are not a religious person. Meditation, music, getting close to nature are all spiritual practices.
- Do your best to keep yourself away from harm. Smoking, excessive use of alcohol, drugs, unprescribed medication can seriously damage your physical and mental health.
- Find purpose. It doesn’t have to be a great cause or an unprecedented idea. Just find a reason that makes your heart sing and gets you off bed in the morning.
- Make free time. Time to do something that you don’t need to but you like. Time to let your mind wander. Time to just be. Remember that free time is not something we have. It’s something we make.
- Be kind to yourself. Always. No matter how much you have been disappointed by your actions or thoughts.
- Allow yourself to make mistakes. You are human and your mistakes mean that you tried. They can also be your best teachers.
- Forgive yourself. Silence your inner critic and cherish the gift of self-forgiveness.
- Accept your differences and come to terms with your uniqueness. Whatever it is that you don’t like about yourself, your body, your character, it is a part of you. Smooth the rough edges where you can and move on to self-acceptance.
- Be open to learning. No matter how old you are or how experienced, there is always something new to learn.
- Help yourself grow in areas that you need to. Personally, socially, professionally, no matter the way, allow room for progress.
- Embrace change. Comfort zones are not always to the best of our interests and change is not always a bad thing even if it seems so at the beginning.
Which of the above principles make sense to you? Which do you think yourself needs to feel better emotionally, mentally or physically? Think through them and begin your own self-care practices, one step at a time!
